Saturday, February 16, 2019

Calm mind, no price not even an arm koan


Towards the latter part of December, I found a long-term patient in the day room. He had been tied into his wheelchair with the hem part of his t-shirt hooked over the brakes and hand grips in back of the chair. It was by chance that I saw him. The tied patient was not in his usual seat, which piqued my attention and part of his belly was exposed. I found that odd. He is always so neatly dressed.  A table was placed in front of him too. So, he was behind the table with his back to the wall and windows which overlook the park. The whole picture of him sitting there was just wrong. I went over to him and saw the shirt wrapped around each handle on the right and left side behind his chair. I immediately without hesitation undid the shirt. But I knew the table would be too heavy for me. Then I walked over to the nurse’s aid and quickly and quietly told her that it is illegal to tie up patients. Then I told the nurse and a maintenance person standing in the doorway. Then I told a speech pathologist when we were downstairs doing paperwork, then I told my director, who told the director of the facility, then they asked for my written statement, and last week the New York State Department of Health interviewed me. There are some details for brevity and that I have left out just so we can experience some points.
Some of the points are that if I had not undone the tie, I could not have a moment of peace. I would not have a calm mind, that laws exist to protect innocent people and bring justice. And there should be consequences for wrong actions, unethical behavior and violence. I had to make quick decisions, and choices in that time frame. I had to tell the aide it was against the law. Obviously pleading with her that it was wrong and inhumane would not get the point across but breaking a law did. That is a large point in a very thorny situation. 
As for peace of mind, it exists as a thing that brings no accolades but a quiet resilience. No one can give me peace of mind, because it is not theirs to give even though insurance companies, investment advisors, all the money in the bank and full pantries give that illusion along with gurus, teachers, bosses, spouses, and friends sometimes give relief. It is temporary.
Oh, and there was a camera on in the day room. What if I had ignored my reality and that man? Forever on film I would be a star of the macabre. What if his wife had found him like that? What if another patient or their families had seen him restrained? What if someone else saw that? Maybe they did and then did nothing. But my mind is clear enough to be able to see into the big panorama of dharma. If only for a few seconds, or minutes.

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